I just got back from Fayetteville last night. My mama and I had been there since Wednesday evening. To fill you in on the goings on:
In September my grandma was diagnosed for the third time with breast cancer-- however, this time the cancer has metastasized. It has completely taken over her body-- it's in her lungs, blood, abdominal organs and brain. She has lost about 40 pounds. These past few months have been the most difficult times I can ever remember enduring.(Also, in November my grandmother on my Dad's side passed away)...
My family and myself are truly blessed to have the grandma that we were given. I have never once hated going to Fayetteville to visit my grandparents. Every year my sisters and I have spent at least a week at my grandma's. My grandma came over at least twice a month throughout the year and was always there for soccer championships, big dances and came to move me in to my apartment this year. I believe that I have the best grandma that anyone could ever hope to have.
Now she is in the hospital- she has an infection in her blood (Pseudomonas), causing her to be septic. This happened a week ago. From Sunday until Friday, they kept pumping my grandma with fluids and antibiotics and pain medication. But the whole time she was aware, scared and panicky. If she wasn't given pain medication every two hours she was super agitated, angry, moaning and in pain. Her body doesn't have the abilitiy to fight her infection, and the chemo she had been received was doing more harm than good (the infection) so tired of her pain and suffereing we decided (we meaning my papa, mama and uncle) that it would be best to put her strictly on comfort care. No more vitals being checked, no more poking and prodding and more medicine. Now we are all waiting, just waiting for her to pass away. With every breath you can her the fluid filling her lungs.
The idea of my grandma really being gone, is crazy to me. She's only 70, and I had expected her to be around for at least 15 more years. She was very healthy. I just had always expected her to be with me when I got married, helping me pick out my wedding dress, etc. But the Lord has other plans for my beautiful Grandma and lucky her she'll be in heaven very soon, celebrating with Him before any of us. I'm just happy that I was able to be with my Grandma in her final moments and able to tell her how much I love her, and hear her tell me the same.
But now I have to get to more homework so when events finally happen, I won't be behind in school. Here's hoping for a year where I can have happy posts! Because I am so tired of sadness right now.
- 20 something belle born and raised in the South. College girl. Sorority girl. Lover of all things French. Inspired by Martha Stewart, Paula Deen, my Grandma, the Pioneer Woman and Lilly P. I love my family, my boyfriend, cute pajamas and night gowns; spin class, yoga and dancing; sushi and red wine; and preppy Beach Houses!